auspices.

so, i'm sitting in a coffee shop. this is not something that i do a lot of. in this way anyway. the cool sara little way.

i came here under the auspices that i would be doing some work since i have a lot of that to do. i am feeling conspicuous and invisible at the same time. listening to music in headphones tends to make me feel this way. i can hear my music but i can also hear the music playing over the speakers and the clutter of conversation around me. does anyone really get any work done in this kind of place?

at least the girl across the aisle has new highlighters. a whole set. still in rainbow order.

today has been a hard day. it has arrived on the heels of one of the strangest weeks of my life. apparently it is almost easter.

after church, i told corey that i didn't know what it was that stirred the heart of the church today. i am troubled that the secular community continues to rally for the plight of africa and christians seem to be stuck in the cycle of analyzing our own hearts. corey asked me what it was that stirred my own heart to do something.

said that it would be the place that things started to move.

i know he is right. and i am once again immobilized by my own fear, stagnancy, complacency.

so instead i just started a fight with him. stupidly, the fight sprang out of this. and how much i want everyone i love to watch it and be moved by it like i am. as is almost always true, the fight had nothing to do with what i said it did.